Futile
by Selunchen123
Summary: The story never repeats itself, Naruto never married Sakura, Sakura never got his child as he dreamt about. In another world, where they never had each other, everything has become FUTILE.
1. Chapter 1

Naruto had never been the type of person who cared about sleeping alone in a cold bed, in his dark room. His hand wandered to his face, letting his palm cover his eyes in a frustrated fashion. It had been two years from this exact day, and he had a few months ago turned 30. He still felt like he was in his early twenties, even with three kids on his side, he stayed young and youthful in spirit. He had though gained a few wrinkles in the corner of his eyes, due to the stress of being a hokage over one of them most powerful villages.

It didn't bother him though, for eight years he had been married to a stunning woman. A small smile escaped his lips as he remembered back. His wife had not been the prettiest of them all, even when being married to her, he always thought Sakura had a beauty unmatched. This statement had made a few people raise their eyebrows, wondering if the Hokage still managed to crush on the lone woman.

It had never been the case though, Sakura had throughout the years maintained her and Naruto's friendship, and had loudly claimed they were best friends. Naruto had been fine with that, his wife gave him the comfort and support he needed. He loved her more than anything, and he loved her even more when she gave birth to three healthy children.

Hinata had been his surprised wife, when they had decided to marry. She was a shy woman, but a strong one too. She may not be like Sakura. Not so proud, or psychically strong, but she controlled emotions in a way that it was scary. Naruto had not been the type that sought tenderness, cuddling or hugs – yet during the years, he had become a bit more …soft?

He pondered lightly on his current situation. It would be a lie if he said he didn't miss her – to be completely honest with himself, he wanted her back more than anything else. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. It scared him that he didn't sleep in the Hyuuga house anymore, and instead claimed the bed in the hokage tower for his own. It was a large bed, fit for two and a large child. Yet, it was only him lying there, groaning as if he was in pain.

It was early morning, but Sakura had already arrived, and he could hear her walk around in his office. He sighed, she was probably doing the paperwork he didn't bother finish last night. Her steps were not as light as Hinata's, a bit heaver in the way they smashed against the ground. He pushed his lips forward and stared at his cracking ceiling – white….like his diseased wife.

He lay there for a good hour, before he heard her knock gently on the door – waiting for a response. He quickly thought that maybe he should pretend to sleep, but then she would just forcefully drag him out of bed, and then afterwards give him a lecture in proper hokage behaviour. Too bad that she tended to forget he had been Hokage for 8 years, and always bragged about how she could do it better.

Sometimes he seriously considered letting her do it, and just lay in his bed, remembering how it was like to have Hinata by his side. The door opened with a soft click, and the light from the hallways streamed into his room, illuminating the bottom of the bed. He had his back towards her, laying stubbornly in the bed – not wanting to get up now.

It wasn't really fair. Of course Sakura was a strong woman and all, a proud woman too – but she had been there for him ever since Hinata died. Taking care of most things as if letting him cut down on his hokage duties, and even with that, she had managed to take care of his kids too. He could feel her walk around in his room, picking up his discarded clothes, and put it in the corner, so the maids could clean the room better.

She never said anything to him in mornings like these – she just let him lie there, staring into the air, while she would walk around and clean up some of the messes he could make. Sakura also made sure never to touch any of his pictures of belongings from Hinata – something with the smell might disappear he had said.

Naruto gazed at Sakura from his side of the bed. She was curvy, womanly, and quite the sight to look at – but really, all Naruto wanted to see the black long hair curve down her neck, replacing the red skirt and blouse with a grey kimono. When she would turn to him, it wouldn't be the glittering fascinating green eyes, but the calm and relaxing white.

She pushed the curtains aside, letting the light stream into the dark room – and somehow as he turned his head to shield out the light, it was like he was shutting the world out to. Pulling the covers over his head, he felt a soft pad on his side. Sakura didn't carry a smile on her face, she wore that concerned look again. When he didn't react, he felt her sit down beside him, slowly taking off the cover, to reveal his sad face.

The pink-haired girl sighed in frustration, and petted his hair. "up with you Naruto – or I'll not give you ramen tonight, and won't make you paperwork"

"like I care" he knew he shouldn't have said that – especially because the special vein on her forehead suddenly became more visible.

"oh? Is that right?"

He didn't answer back, and just lay there – his eyes focusing on the picture of a smiling Hinata. Sakura seeing this brushed his hair gently with her fingers – those deadly fingers that could kill him with just a single flick. Yet, he knew Sakura would never hit him…which in some cases were sad.

Naruto would lie if he said he didn't miss their times together. Him, Sakura, and even Sasuke, the three of them going on adventures. They would fight of every enemy, and afterwards they would sit beside the fire, chatting, laughing. The years after that, it was only him, Sakura and Kakashi. Things didn't change as much – they laughed, chatted, and sometimes he was sure Sakura was flirting with him. He would never know.

It had been the year before Tsunade retired, and Naruto became Hokage, when Sakura decided she would travel the world. He was left on his own, and found comfort in a woman he never ever gave a thought before. Hinata was a woman build up from inner strength, relying on herself, and not on others as Sakura.

In her he found hours of crying, loving, and lastly comfort. She was that kind of woman who gave everything, and always received something back. Naruto had become trancefixed with everything she stood for. The way she walked, the way she talked, the way she would shyly peck him on the cheek. Naruto knew that a relationship with Sakura would be slow moving, tough, and they would fight a lot.

Naruto never fought with Hinata. In the beginning it was strange to not meet the resistance he liked so much with Sakura. However, as time went on, and a wedding passed him, and a his first born was born – he really realised, it was a salvation. To come home every night, rest on her shoulder, letting her hold him – and hear the chuckle of his baby girl lying beside them.

It was too sickening, too loving – but Naruto couldn't help but want more. He wanted Hinata with him, saving him from the world outside. The pain, the tears…were all replaced with a stricking image of a white eyed girl with an insecure smile.

Now…8 years later, one girl and two boys born later – he had sent her on a mission…

He closed his eyes hardly, and Sakura hands stroked his cheek even more tenderly. Naruto could hear the children slowly begin to wake up. His daughter Minori had always been a girl who woke up early, usually to greet Sakura with a toothy smile – something she had inherited from her father.

Sasuke, his secondborn was too lazy to wake up when Sakura asked him too – and too young to remember his mother properly.

Hiashi had only been two years old when Hinata had died in that mission, so he had reached the age of four, and strangely saw Sakura as his role model.

"you have to get up Naruto – the village needs you…"

He sat up almost angrily. How he hated that he enjoyed how Sakura comforted him – but it was wrong. Sakura's hands were not gentle, were not smooth and white as Hinata's. No. Sakura's hands were full of scars, her skin rough in a tender way – and last of all, they had a tan. Sakura was not Hinata.

"I know" he muttered, and took of his shirt – knowing that Sakura had now gotten offended, he bend his neck slightly to receive his punishment. Nothing came, and he heard her hard footsteps across the floor, and the door slam close. Naruto bend his head downwards – closing his eyes hard. His knuckles turning white from the pressure.

_And then there was light…_

-

Naruto stood still, resting against the wall. The garden in the hokage building, rested lazily in the setting sun. There was hardly any wind this day, and thanks to Sakura's help earlier this morning – he had finished his paperwork earlier than intented. Sometimes he hated her for doing it, because it gave him time to think, time to wonder all his "what ifs".

He could hear the light footsteps of his daughter coming from the other side of the hallway, heading towards the garden. When seeing him she stopped up slightly, he didn't look at her and his eyes seemed transfixed with the way the water lay in the pond. She gulped and raised her hand in a welcoming gesture. He didn't blame her. Sakura was usually the one taking care of them at this point of the day – and she was also the only one, besides her own apprentice who was allowed in the Hokage estate.

Naruto sat down on the terrace. "Come over here Minori – I have some matters to discuss with you."

The girl, confident in her stance, nodded and walked over to her father. He gave her a side glance, noticing how her walk reminded him of Sakura's. He suddenly couldn't help but feel a bit mad. The feeling of Hinata was slowly disappearing from his children, the glint in their eyes were replaced with a hint of unbroken will. Sakura had defiantly gotten past their wall, and slowly she replaced Hinata in their mind.

Naruto turned his head away – the bamboo pipe hit the water surface every time the water from the spring hit the other end of the pipe, making it go upwards in a monotone rhythm. His hands rested on his knees, a serious expression claiming his already worn features. His daughter fidget slightly in her seat – he knew she was uncomfortable every time he wanted to "talk" to her.

The conversations would always start out with how her training was doing, then turn to Hinata, and lastly if she liked what Sakura was doing. He surprised her this time though.

"do you remember Hyuuga Hanabi? Your aunt?"

Minori bit down her lip and took a while to find a proper response. "yeah – I do, father."

Naruto nodded, his eyes still gazing on the water. "you know of the Cloud nation am I right? I believe you have met the Kazekage and his daughters, am I right?"

"yes I do, father"

There was silence for a while, and he leaned forwards, folding his hands. Minori noticed the whiskers on his face, and how he had gotten a small wrinkle by his left eye. She had her own hands folded in her lap, not mimicking her father – and Naruto could see it. Sakura always sat like that every time she was nervous about something – and it had been a while since he had seen her be nervous about anything at all.

He opened his mouth and was about to continue, when another person interrupted.

"eh? Naruto – what are you doing here!?" the pink-haired woman stared dumbfounded at the man before her, and his daughter. "you're not slacking off are you?" her eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion, making Naruto glare back at her. "No I am not Sakura. I am here because I am done, and I wanted to talk to **my **daughter"

The Haruno scowled and clicked her tongue in annoyance, before she walked down the hallway, in search of Sasuke and Hiashi. Naruto noticed the way she walked. Her head was raised high, her shoulder stiff with proud. The muscles in bare arms and legs worked, and strained with every step she took. Her hair had been cut recently, and showed a good amount of her neck…

However, all Naruto wanted to see slumped shoulders, and her upper back covered with black midnight blue hair. Her skin would be pearly white, and instead of a low skirt, it would be a long kimono. Sakura was nothing like Hinata – he turned his head, staring at the pond. His hands clenching hardly, Minori noticed, and strangely it felt when her small hand covered his. "she doesn't mean ill by it, father."

Naruto sighed. "I know…I am the problem here anyway"

"I miss mom too dad – I remember her too. But Sakura-san is a wonderful woman; she is only doing her best."

_With light came the earth we stand upon._

_-_

He never really insisted on being present to Sakura's weekly examinations – it was just something he always witnessed, and by the look on Tsunade's face, it was not going to be good news.

Sakura had during her travels managed to receive an insanely amount of wounds. He stared at her back. Scars trailing down almost gently from her shoulder to her hip. The muscles were tense because of Tsunade's future words. He could see her spine through her tanned skin. He crossed his arms, his face never bearing a scrowl. His face was twisted in worry, and displease of Sakura's stupidity.

It was no secret that she had apologized for it time over and over again. However, it wouldn't change the fact. Sakura had gotten unlucky with a poison ninja, and it was now invading her chakra system, and at the current time she could not use her super strength in her left leg. Tsunade sighed and leaned back in chair.

"I really am quite puzzled about this Sakura." Her voice was a low mutter, and she placed her hands over her stomach, as if she thinking hard. Naruto could see the vein in her forehead become more visible as she, just like her apprentice, was about to get mad. Tsunade bit down her lip, and licked her teeth. Sakura sat tensely, her head leaning towards the ground, as if she was trying to suppress guilty emotions.

"Sakura, you are one hell of a stupid girl. Are you aware of the consequences – you won't be a ninja if you don't find a cure for this." He could see her muscle work on her back work when she clenched her hands. Sakura was easy to read when you were just looking at her backside. Naruto leaned forward, listening to what Tsunade had to say.

"you can put your shirt back on." She muttered, and Sakura bend her arm towards the right – showing some of her breast, but Naruto was unaffected by the display of womanly features. The red shirt was buttoned up quickly and Naruto moved over to sit beside them. Tsunade gave him a knowing look. "what are the chances?" he spoke lowly, and the old woman took a hand through her hair.

"they are slim, but there are of course chances – unless…what do you want Sakura?"

The pink haired woman blinked, and stared at Naruto, who gave her a questioning perusal. "you should not look at me Sakura, it is your choice." She turned her head away, and the morning sun rested upon the figures in the small room. Tsunade gave Sakura a small pad on the shoulder, and stood up, stretching her limbs. "Don't worry, I'll look through every file I have. If I find something I will contact you. I'll see you in a week"

Naruto gazed at Sakura staring at her own folded hands, her own stare showing her internal turmoil. He sighed and quickly brought an arm around her shoulder. He was her friend afterall – and as her friend he couldn't bear to see her distress.

_And upon the earth it shone, the first seed of life._

_-_

Hyuuga Hiashi, Hyuuga Neji and Hyuuga Hanabi sat before him. The usually dinning table, where he and Sakura along with the children, spent their time eating whatever the cook created, were now full of papers, assignments, and scrolls. On his left side sat the Cloud's kage's youngest daughter, along with some from the council.

Naruto rubbed his eyes. "I guess you all know why you are here." He muttered underneath his breath, opening one scroll. The curly haired cloud woman nodded fiercely, her eyes boring into his monotone ones. Hanabi just gave a short nod, seeming really uninterested in where the topic was headed. Naruto guessed it was usually Hyuuga custom to seem like that – Hinata apparently really were an outsider in her clan.

"Cloud, you start." His own council member spoke outloud.

The curly haired girl stood up proudly. "we are here to engage in possible political marriage between the Rokudaime hokage and me, Skye, the youngest daughter of the Kage of the Cloud." Naruto watched her stand before him. Something about her pose reminded him of a certain pinkhaired woman – but still he couldn't quite place what. Sakura would never, never in front of any kage stand up like that. She surely wouldn't give herself to any man in a political marriage.

He did not understand why, but it brought a small smile to his face. Skye gave herself a satisfied smirk, believing she had managed to move into the heart of the Hokage. Hanabi frowned deeply, and the council member asked the Hyuugas to stand up. Hiashi tucked unto his jacket, and stood up.

"we as the Hyuuga clan here in Konohagure propose a marriage between the former husband of Hinata Hyuuga – in order to let the children grow up in proper Hyuuga environment." He sat down again with a loud puff, and Naruto rubbed his eyes. He had spent the whole evening with his children last night. They were really become quite the handful – perhaps he should really admire Sakura for what she is doing.

The councilmember looked at Naruto – and he could feel how a long meeting was going to take place the rest of the evening…and night. If Hinata had been there she would wait up for him, and take him into her arms – and they would spend the whole night being awake, chatting, talking, kissing…you name it. However, there was no Hinata anymore, and he needed to ensure the safety of Konoha.

His eyes rested on the stubborn cloud woman, and then back to Hanabi. Being Hokage meant more than just helping the people, it meant sacrificing yourself. He turned his head to quickly glance at the window – it was going to snow soon, but all he could see was a sunny sky, and the laughter of his children in the garden.

…_When the seed grew, so came the understanding and love for the seed._

_-_

Naruto had expected Sakura to shout, yell, destroy a wall, leave the estate, but all she did was simply to stare at him with an empty look. He rubbed his neck, feeling the situation get a bit too awkward. Why didn't she punch him? Wasn't she the one telling him never to marry politically, and instead marry out of love. Funny it came from the same woman who was left because she couldn't get children. It reminded him he should really let the Anbu work faster…

…he coughed to somehow try to let the awkward situation disappear. Sakura seemed to not even stare at him, she was looking at some thing outside of the garden. His eyes wandered to her bandaged leg, something Tsunade must have done earlier that morning.

"uhm…Sakura, are you okay?"

She jumped slightly in her seat, and gave him an insecure laugh. It was her own desperate attempt to cover up for her own mistake, she had just commited a few seconds ago. Her hand tucked on to the pink hair in her back, which was a bit longer than the hair in front. Her hands were busy, and she licked her lips in her attempt to think rationally. It surprised him a bit when she looked up. It was then he realised that Sakura's eyes were really, really green. It was like they were grey in the past…

"so…" she started, letting her hands go to her lap. "you're intending to sacrifice yourself, and marry a princess from the Cloud?" she asked out of pure curiosity, her eyes slightly wide in excitement. Naruto gave her a laugh back. 30 years old, but he felt like he had just turned 50, perhaps Sakura felt the same. "yeah. At least it benefits me more than marrying Hanabi."

Sakura nodded, her eyes turning away from him, and gazed upon the snow falling down. "right. However, Naruto, this means that she will be the one to take care of you from now on." She rubbed her cheek in a tired motion. "I will probably be moving away from here, right? That is why you're telling me this?" and her hair was really, really pink…

…he shook his head. "eh!? What?" now she wasn't the one confused, he was.

She turned back to him, and pointed her index finger towards him. "you didn't even tell you had gotten married to Hinata – and when you did it was because you needed me to do some business in Rock, right? So now when you tell me this stuff, it is because you would like me to move out of the estate. Which means I would have at least three days to mo-"

"what! What! Hey! That is not what I meant!" he said, interrupting Sakura. She lowered her hand slowly, indicating that she was listening. Naruto gave her a small glare, showing her he had become hurt by her speech. "that is not it Sakura. I want your opinion on this. You have always been sort of smart when it comes to this"

She turned around, crossing her legs, and lay her head on her arm, which rested safely on the wooden floor. "my opinion? Now Naruto, I am not the hokage. However, I do see the good things about commiting yourself to this woman…or girl I may safely presume. First of all, the alliance will benefit Konoha insanely."

She had really green eyes, they were almost sparkling in the evening sun.

"we can use it to our own advantages. It will also give a good amount of jutsus to our library, since we can get some information out of her…"

Her lips were small, not red….they weren't really special…but the muscles flexed and stretched with every word she said…

She sat up, this time on her knees, an excited look on her face. "think of all the medical jutsus! Maybe they have something that can cure me!"

Her hips were boyish, her body was thin, slim, most consisting of muscles – but he could feel himself stare at her unexplainably. The words disappeared, as the usual image of Hinata never came. Instead it was replaced with a sunny aura, surrounding a pink haired woman. Determination beyond his understanding. His hands were aching to reach out for her…

"it is a great de-…what are you doing?" she questioned, her voice a bit low. His head was buried into her stomach, his arms around her waist. It wasn't intimate, it was surprising, unexpected. Sakura stared upon his form, as she slowly let her raised fist wander down to his head. However, instead of hitting him, she opened her palm and slowly started to play with the golden locks.

"I don't know…" he answered weakly. Her other hand touched his spine, not doing anything besides laying there.

It was something they only did when they were alone. Naruto never showed any display of weak emotions, unless he was alone with Sakura. People had always believed they despised each other – hated each other, by the way they talked. However, when they were alone…they could laugh together, cry together.

Right now, it was Naruto's turn. His arms tightened on her waist, and she was sure he wouldn't even move if a council member came. Sakura silently begged him to let go, but he shook his head. A display of childish stubbornness. He froze though when she lay her chest down upon his head, trying her best to embrace him back. It was strange, weird, and brought him unwanted feelings…

…so he pulled away and sat up, rubbing his dry eyes. Sakura didn't look the least puzzled, and just sat still, patiently waiting for him to gather the courage and talk again. His hands slowly took hers into his own, clenching them hard. "I don't want you to die." He murmured. In response she gave him a small smile, and it was all he needed.

"stupid idiot…why should I go and die?"

_The understanding and love for the seed, made it grow – and soon it broke through the earth, and the sunlight embraced its holy form._

_-_

Naruto slammed his fist into the shower wall. The water drenching his bare skin, as if trying to clean him from every dirty thought he might have in his head. However, his hands continued to hit the china walls, making it crack slightly from the pressure. What had just happened? He weren't supposed to feel intimate like that around Sakura. He shouldn't experience the butterflies in his stomach flutter, making him somehow feel nauseas.

He brought a hand to his mouth, his face red from the fierce blush. Of course he had taken a shower, and it was cold, bloody cold. However, he this feeling that even with the icy water pinching his skin, it wouldn't let the deep fluttering fire within him die out. It was horrible, dreading, and he closed his eyes. His hands went from his mouth to above his head. These thoughts in his mind – they were human, and needy. The problem was that these thoughts should never be about Sakura.

Naruto wanted china-white skin, and transparent eyes that could see to inner of his soul. Small gentle hands caressing his skin with the tenderest touches. He defiantly didn't want this!

He didn't want to imagine Sakura stand before him in the shower, those horrible transfixing green eyes, which swallowed him like a sea. He was the Hokage; he was supposed to keep his emotions in check. He should honour his new fiancé, because she was to become his wife, he should be transfixed with her. He could see her pink hair now, and with a fast hand his hand shot down to the shower, making the water colder than before. He gasped when it hit him, and let his arms go around his head again, while he rested his head against the cool wall.

He had no idea how long he stood there, but he resisted moving his hands from his head. The thoughts alone made him sick. To fancy a woman in such a disturbing manner to himself made him want to puke right then and there. His body was shaking under the cold water, and he knew Sakura would come to his room sooner or later, probably going to scold him for leaving her so much paperwork.

The thought of her coming into his room made his body stop shaking, and all of sudden he could imagine her stand before him. Staring up at him with those green eyes, he couldn't see if she wore any clothes. However, her collarbones were visible, and he suddenly stopped thinking all together. Her face was heated, and her eyes were searching his. It was pure torture.

It wasn't supposed to be Sakura! Hinata!

Hinata!

Hinata!

Hinata!

"HINATA!"

The door to the bathroom opened with a bang, and he could hear Sakura's worried voice speak from the other side of the curtain. "Is something wrong!?" he blinked, the events that had just occurred left his already troubled mind, and he needed to swallow his spit painfully. His voice was low as he tried to get rid of the blush on his cheeks. "no…no, nothing is wrong."

There was silence for a moment, and her feet slowly walked out of the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click.

_The sunlight illuminated the ground around the seed, making it grow, and break the surface of the ground._

_-_

The snow fell quietly on the garden trees, covering the bare branches like a cold blanket. The grass was bent down towards the ground by the sudden weight from the sky. Only the footsteps covering the training area indicated that someone actually dared to walk out into the freezing cold.

Naruto leaned against the columns, watching Sakura and Lee from afar. When it was winter, the glass windows, which usually were open in the warmer periods, were closed and hid him very well behind the curtains too. It was an unusual long winter this year; the snow had been there for more than a month now, a rare sight never seen in a hundred years. He admired the colour of the curtains all of sudden, the wonderful red colour, which hid the private areas of the estate.

Lee had volunteered to help Sakura with her training, since Naruto was too busy. Not that he really wanted to be busy, but it wouldn't be fair towards the villagers that he spent all his time using kage-bunshin in the office, so he could sneak out. Perhaps he shouldn't stop doing it, but when he did he should not stand in the hallway instead, staring at a pink-haired woman. People might think of him as a freaking stalker when he stood there. However, all these thoughts in his head wouldn't calm down.

So he had made the seals, and three clones had appeared, glaring daggers at him when he had exited the office. So he took a walk, and ended up in the estate. Now all he could see was the red dress flying around in the freaking cold as Sakura managed to kick Lee on the shoulder. It worried Naruto that she didn't use chakra; she always used chakra when she fought him. He had several scars on his head proving that.

It reminded him of his conversation with Tsunade a few days prior to this. The old lady still hid herself with the youthjutsus, but Naruto had gotten used to think of her as an old lady, so why not treat her as one.

She had leaned back, glaring at him for no reason other than feeling like it. However, that wasn't what bothered him. What bothered him was the words escaping her mouth as small daggers piercing into his chest.

"Sakura will have to undergo a surgery to cut off all of her chakra paths."

He had been silent, not saying anything in return.

"even with perfect chakra control, Sakura has managed to harm the paths so much that they are acting weird, and doesn't function well enough. Perfect control or not, she can't use them. If we don't do it, the chakra will begin to attack various parts of her body."

So now he stood here, watching as Sakura desperately tried to focus enough chakra to just heal herself from her wounds. It was impossible.

His eyebrows turned downwards in a sad frown; it made him poignant seeing a once brave woman, who relied on her strength in both life and battle, to stand there unable to do what she wanted. Lee saw this, and tried his best to stop the fight, but by this Sakura intensified her hits. She wanted so desperately to be like before.

Naruto took this as he chance to approach her, and opened the glass door. However, both of them either ignored or didn't hear him come towards them. Lee grabbed her by the wrists, and stopped her from attacking completely. "Sakura-san, stop please, you're hurting yourself"

She turned her gaze to her hands, watching as they had begun to bleed from the knuckles, and the left one even felt a bit numb. She couldn't look back at her friend, feeling so pathetic attacking him so desperately. Did she really want to hit him so badly? Was it even fair for her to use him as a punching bag for her own frustrations?

"hey – I think you can go home now Lee" a cheerful voice said a bit further away from them. They both turned their heads to see the hokage wave at them, a kind smile tracing his aging face. Lee released Sakura's wrist and gave him a thumbs up. "hello Naruto-san! I must say Sakura is doing great progress! I am proud to let the spring of youth invade your garden!"

Naruto gave him a heartily laugh back, and pocketed his hands, feeling them becoming cold in the winter air. "true, true, but haven't you noticed it is snowing Lee, and even me and Sakura have turned 30 some time ago" Lee gave Naruto a disapproving glance and crossed his arms. "Naruto-san! Do you mock me and the spring of youth!?" the glance soon turned into a smile.

"hehe, always Lee, well, see you around won't I?"

Lee nodded and disappeared into a pile of smoke, and Sakura turned her own gaze to the sky, where the snow had started falling again. Naruto didn't turn to look at her either, and also decided to watch the snow fall.

He didn't notice how long they stood there until he accidentally saw the pile of blood on the ground, most likely from Sakura's knuckle wounds. He smiled at her, and took an arm into his pocket, finding a roll of bandages. "hey, give me your hands."

Sakura turned around surprised and stood silent for some time, until Naruto decided to take her hands by himself. They were hot from the blood streaming towards it, and he couldn't help but trace a few of the scars. Her skin was rough, worn and the tan from the summer had disappeared and was replaced with the white skin she had from when they were young. She gave him a smile back. "I bet I was a bit too wild today."

Naruto gave her a laugh. "What's the change? You've always followed your own rules and smashed me when you felt like it." He softly bandaged her hands, and he could feel her tense from the lingering touches. Perhaps he shouldn't have held so affectionately on her hand. The air grew hotter by the second and a blushed claimed Sakura's cheeks, before she with a frown took her hand back.

Naruto gave an insecure laugh, blaming the lack of sleep for his odd behaviour. He began to chant in his mind, about all the things that might explain the growing warmth in his stomach. Of course, this was no mystery to him why. He had always been attracted to Sakura since he was just a kid. However, Hinata still held the vast majority of his heart, claiming it and never taking it back.

That is what he had wanted to believe. He didn't want to dishonour the memory of his why, hell, he dreamt of her every night. Naruto longed for her kind gazes and gentle touches. Sakura was so different that it might be why she turned him off a bit too. He didn't want a woman who hid things, and she did. Sakura loved to tease, flirt, and generally be a tough woman in all aspects. The same things he didn't like about her were always the things that made him attracted to her.

He turned his head towards the estate as the window was closed by one of the servants that occasionally wandered about. Sakura dried the sweat from her brows and gave him a grin, clearly hiding her frustration from him again. "aah – that was good, it has been a long time since I fought like this."

He gave a glance and nodded. "yeah."

Sakura brought her bandaged hands to her behind her back, and turned to look at the window too. "I am curious, when is the wedding going to be held?"

He licked his lip in thought and scratched his head. "I think it is the 28th of March."

Naruto felt her tense, but she didn't say anything and just nodded. "That's good isn't it? Is there anything you want me to do?"

His heart suddenly jumped, and he couldn't quite explain why. "Well uhm – no, not really."

_Suddenly the sun was covered by the dark clouds, and the rain clashed hard upon the blooming seed._

_-_

A new fiction of mine, I was a bit unsure weather to post it on Hollow Production or Selun-chen, but as you see, I figured that out. The reason why it isn't in Hollow is because I have veto on this story, which means my partner can't say anything about my decisions. I sure hope you'll enjoy the story and Rokudaime too.

I promise! Not more than 5 chapters! If it becomes more hit me!

Note: Sakura's birthday is the _28th of March._

All rights to Kishi.

You might wonder why the story is called _futile_, because it might seem like a regular love-story, but the problem is that it isn't. The story is called futile because the ending will be futile…so…that is it.


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto walked through the hallways of the mansion, a large file underneath his arm. He frowned deeply. What a horrible day. First his fiancé had strictly wanted him to help her choose a bridal dress and what sort of food they had to serve at the wedding. Naruto, being way too busy with being Hokage had with an annoyed tone told her he didn't have the time, making her stomp out of the office in offence.

So he found himself seeking out, his only rescue when he got angry – Sakura. Not that Sakura was a person you messed with when you were angry, but if he offended her, she would hit him so hard that he regretted being angry all together. However, the sight that met him was slightly different than what he had expected.

A pink-haired woman, who had under the strict guidance of Hiashi, read most of the Hyuuga scrolls in order to train Minori. Sakura was jumping and hitting the air, just so his daughter could see how it worked. His eyes softened and he walked a bit slower than before. He could see Sakura punch the air, with his daughter mimicking her and at the same time watched her as if she was some sort of a god. The snow was starting to disappear …but the ground was brown and messy.

Naruto though only saw the spring before him, the sun shining down upon the garden, which was full of flowers and…

He shook his head again. The wedding must've had affected him more than he had imagined. His feet dragged against the floor and he stopped when he stood by the window, admiring the sight before him. It was like he watched the two loves of his life punching the air. Minori represented her mother and Sakura the woman who had throughout the years been very loyal to him, staying as a friend even in the hardest times.

Hinata had been a beautiful woman, graceful in all her spirit and soul. She had had the kindest eyes and they could see into your mind, knowing exactly what you thought and had never once judged him. He loved her still and sometimes he would give up status, life and friends, just in order for her to come back -…

…- but now – he had the feeling that he wasn't so sure about it. Sakura kicked the air again, spinning around with a brutal graze only seen with Shizune and Tsunade. She was beautiful in a dangerous way; it was no surprise that the Tuschikage had been interested. The rock country had always been very fascinated about strong women and Sakura was a woman not only strong physically – but mentally as well.

A smile claimed his lips as he leaned against the column. He saw how Minori slowly tried to figure out what to do with her legs, when Sakura sat down and let her hands guide the smaller girl. She would become a wonderful mother.

His eyes widened when a pair of green eyes locked with his. Her eyes were nothing like Hinata's. Hinata's were full of love, compassion, respect – Sakura's was full of determination, strength and tender when she weren't pissed…two different women…

-

He had to be honest with himself. He really thought that the dinner affair he had arranged would be wonderful, fantastic, amazing that his children would absolutely love his new wife. Skye wasn't a bad woman, she might be seven years younger than the Hokage, but that shouldn't make a difference – it didn't in his world.

Usually it would be him, Sakura, Minori, Sasuke and Hiashi jr. that would be sitting at the table. Sakura had always insisted on sitting in the far end of the table, because it was only the wife or the fiancé of the Hokage, who rightly belonged to his right side. On his right side sat Skye along with Hiashi who was busy being fed by Sakura.

On his left side, Minori right beside him and Sasuke at her left. Sakura was seated at the end of the table, helping his smaller children eat. He didn't know how, but she had after Hinata's death just taken over all the motherly roles. It didn't fit him at first, he had actually wanted her to leave his family alone – but this was how his family was now…and he knew it would be for the best.

Skye was busy talking about her life in the Cloud, when Naruto looked up from his food and accidentally locked his gaze with Sakura's again. Feeling that it was inappropriate to stare he turned to listen to what Skye had to say. She was a feisty woman, no doubt about that, but she talked a bit too much for his taste. Naruto smiled to himself; perhaps he had in the past few years really managed to grow up and begun to like the silence.

His eyes then caught Minori's, who was too busy glaring at the woman seated opposite from her. Her tiny hand tightened her hold on her chopsticks, her food clearly not being eaten. Naruto frowned. "Minori, stop acting inappropriate and eat your food." Naruto dug his own chopsticks into his dinner and ate it with a slight hint of anger.

The young girl turned to Sakura quickly, but her substitute mothers were too busy cleaning up Hiashi's mess. Minori frowned and turned to her father instead. "why are you going to marry that stupid woman?" the room suddenly went silent and Skye looked at the smaller girl, clearly offended by this. However, she didn't stop. "why don't you marry Sakura instead! She is way kinder and I like her better – I don't want that woman to be my mother."

Naruto glared at her. "Minori, I have told you already why I don't marry Sakura and you better start behaving or I'll have to punish you"

She didn't flinch at his remark and he could see the determination of Sakura's in her eyes, Hinata completely gone from her spirit and mind. "Minori, eat your food and act properly"

The small girl slammed her chopsticks into the table. "you're so mean! You always correct me! You never talk to me! I wish my mom was here or that Sakura was my mom! And that you weren't my dad!"

Sakura sat wide-eyed at the far end of the table, along with Sasuke and Hiashi. Naruto though never managed to detect the hurt in her eyes. Minori pushed her chair backwards. "I am going with Sakura when she goes on her journey!!" and the young girl ran out of the room. Sakura turned her head. "Minori!"

Naruto finally turned his look to Sakura, anger flaring. "you're not going after her Sakura."

This made something snap in the pink haired kunoichi and she stood up, becoming angry herself. "you're so insensitive! Why don't you just treat her kindly instead of yelling at her all the time? She is still a kid, and she needs your support!"

He growled. "I am the Hokage Sakura! You should know your place in the court – you're not her mother, you're her trainer!"

"that doesn't give you the right to treat her like this! I don't care who you marry or what the hell you do in your life – but you don't treat children like this!" her fist slammed into the table and at this Naruto stood up too. "well! Why don't you just get the hell out of here!? You're not her mother Sakura!"

He could see the hurt in her eyes right away, but the anger never left the irises. "So, Fine! I'll be gone by tomorrow morning! Have a good life!" she picked up Hiashi and with heavy footsteps she walked out the door and slammed it close, leaving Skye, Naruto and Sasuke in completely silence.

Sasuke looked up at his father, but when he didn't catch his gaze the young boy jumped down of his seat and followed Sakura…

-

Naruto kicked his trashcan violently, making it crash into the wall, cracking the already old wall. "damnit!" he grabbed his hair in anger and pushed his head backwards in frustration, letting his confused, angry and hurt eyes gaze rest on the wall. As time passed, his hands slowly stopped grabbing his hair as hard as he did before.

He closed his eyes and brought one of his hands to his temple. He hadn't imagined that the dinner would be such an awful affair. Well, Minori was a child that had an emotional strength that couldn't be matched, but that didn't mean she should disgrace his wishes of who he was going to marry and not. The hurt gaze made him furrow his brows – what would Hinata think of him? She had wanted him to be kind around his children – not this…awful. Perhaps Sakura was right afterall, he shouldn't talk like that to them, they were still only children.

They were his children.

He opened his eyes and locked his gaze with Hinata's on their wedding photo. Sakura had neatly commented on how happy he looked on the photograph. The words she had used had made him think that she might have commented on something else, but Sakura had told him she didn't want to get married.

He had heard the stories from either Shizune or Tsunade, how Sakura doing her travels had met a man. He weren't a ninja, he was a guide from the Cloud. The description of him seemed like he was a bit rough in his looks but tender in his personality. They were supposed to have gotten married; she had even prepared a note for Naruto …-

- then Hinata died and when the note was returned with a 'the hokage must attend his wife's funeral, so he does not have time to arrange your marriage' she had run away from her boyfriend 3 weeks pregnant too, just so she could help Naruto out. According to some of the letters, Naruto had by accident found in her room, her boyfriend wanted to know what had happened to the child and if she was going to return. He didn't find a return letter. However, Sakura hadn't been pregnant when she had attended Hinata's funeral with him. So something must have happened …

Tsunade and Shizune were like closed graves, and had strictly refused to not tell Naruto a thing. He leaned into his chair – something told him that Sakura hid things for him, and not just small things, which reminded him…

'_I'll be gone by tomorrow morning!'_

"god damnit Sakura…"

-

He found her sitting in the garden as usual, as if she was almost expecting him. He had his hands pocketed and stood still, just watching her silent from, which had its back turned to him. She didn't look sparkly in the moon, instead she claimed a depressed and sad expression and never once turned to look back at him.

Naruto weren't stupid, Sakura could be mad in two ways; the usual 'I'm-going-to-punch-you-for-being-a-baka' and the very rare 'I'm-so-mad-that-I'll-refuse-to-speak-to-you'. This night it was the latter without a doubt, so he wished himself good luck and stepped into the dark garden.

That was when she turned to him, her eyes narrowed and a back bag beside her. Minori was apparently sitting there too, because when she turned, he saw a girl in her arms, sobbing hard. He knew that she was good at making him guilty, but he wouldn't let it show – not now.

He didn't mean to be cold on purpose, in reality he was dying to have fun – he wanted his youth back, be able to laugh at his silly jokes and get punched by Sakura. He didn't mean to become insensitive, it was like time had passed so quickly, and before he knew what he was doing, he had become closed – something that might have seemed unrealistic just five years ago.

Sakura had not remained the same either; she hadn't turned cold, but less violent. He knew very well that when Sakura was like that, she had an enormous burden on her shoulder or had to face a choice she didn't like. She had been like that ever since she returned.

"Minori – I'd like to talk to Sakura, can you go to your room." He spoke monotone.

The smaller girl looked up and glared at her father, ready to say something when the older woman placed a hand on her shoulder, the depressed look replaced with a much kinder. "go to your room Minori – it won't take long." At her substitute mother's words, she quickly jumped down from the bench and towards the mansion, but not without looking back concerned.

Naruto saw how the kind expression quickly retreated when Minori was out of sight, and was replaced with a lighter mad face. He decided to act like he hadn't seen and looked around almost awkwardly. "can I sit down?"

"It's your garden…"

It stung and he didn't quite understand why, so he sat down making sure he didn't sit too close to her, he didn't feel like having a blue eye tonight. They sat in silence for a long time, no one really knowing what to say – and both too stubborn in reality to actually apologize.

"can't you at least stay until the wedding?" he spoke almost defeated. Sakura flinched and looked at him offended. "till the wedding? What good should that bring?"

"Sakura – I – "

"no you listen, _Hokage-sama_, I am not interested in staying here, if you refuse to acknowledge me of helping you out. I have stayed her for two years now; I've taken care of your kids so they wouldn't become depressed like you. I even helped you out, made sure to get you out of bed – and now you say I don't belong here?" she turned her head away from him and pushed her lips forward.

"don't try to comfort me, _hokage-sama,­_ I intend to leave no matter what you say."

Naruto groaned, why did she have to be so troublesome in times like these? It was like she wanted him to go on his knees and apologize – yes it was true that she had helped out a lot, and the children smiled a lot more than they had done the first year. His hands clenched in his lap as he continued to stare at the pound before them. "Sakura – listen – it's not that I don't appreciate your help…"

She clicked her tongue in disbelief and continued to refuse looking at him, but it didn't prevent him from continuing. "…but, Sakura -…it is me and Hinata's children, not yours. I would be even happier if you didn't take upon the mother-role so much, we have Skye now, she can raise the children."

"so you find me incapable of raising children – eh? Well, then it is just great – fine I'll leave" as she stood up Naruto grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her down on the bench, for once he was grateful for Sakura being incapable of using her chakra. "sit down Sakura – we're not done."

She glared at him like she wanted to strangle him, but she none the less sat down. Naruto didn't remove his hand from her shoulder. "Sakura, damnit listen – okay, I appreciate your help, but…I would just like them to remember their mother." She grew silent.

"They are still Hinata's kids and Minori is the one remembering her mother the most, it would be a shame if she would begin to see you as her mother. I can understand if Hiashi saw you like that, because he is too young to remember and Sasuke too. The problem is…let Skye take over."

She turned her head away. "I'm not trying to erase Hinata's memory, I am just trying to help you out …damnit." He could feel how her shoulder tensed and he let his mask erase just a tiny bit. "…but don't you understand…Naruto…I just didn't want you to be on your own. I am your friend remember?"

"Sakura-cha-"

"I just wanted to damn make sure you weren't on your own again! I know how awful it felt when you were a child, I know what it is like to be alone and you wouldn't have anyone. Of course they would visit and all, but no one would help you out, your kids would be forced to have a nanny of some sort. How would you even fight off the Hyuuga!?"

"Sakura!"

Finally she turned to him again. "what!?"

All he wanted to say disappeared in a split second when their eyes connected and he felt how his own eyes widened just a bit. Sakura had really; really green eyes and they were sparkling evergreen in the reflected light in the pond from the moon. He could feel her tense even more, but didn't move away. He opened his mouth, but none of the words he had wanted to enlighten her soul with came…

"...your eyes…"

She blinked and a small blush tainted her skin, her expression made Naruto dare to move his hand from her shoulder to her neck, pulling her a bit closer. Sakura must have been out of her mind, because she would never dare to be this close to him – again. Naruto found himself blaming the stress for the unwanted feelings he had in his stomach right now. It was sickening and it felt like he had jumped years backwards and experienced his first kiss or his all first time crush. He shouldn't even feel this way about Sakura!

He was going to get married!

Damnit! He had been married! He had kids!

Yet, he just enjoyed the feeling of Sakura's own hand land on his leg as she slowly closed her own eyes. He could sense the nervousness, something she shouldn't feel, it was just him! It was just Naruto…

"it's just me…" he muttered, closing his own eyes and leaned forward.

Maybe Hinata really wished that he should move on, find a woman he loved just as much as he loved her. Maybe Hinata disagreed with the marriage between him and the cloud, because…well, she had always known how he felt for Sakura, even though his feelings had almost disappeared or been replaced by Hinata before they got married.

"yeah….I know…" she whispered. He could almost sense the words and how they tickled against his skin when they were spoken. How did they manage to get like this? Hadn't they just been fighting? Naruto knew he had been feeling differently lately, but here he was, sitting with the woman who had started to hunt his mind – truly, all he wanted right now was to crush her against him – and just kiss her senseless in the middle of the garden, damn everybody else.

His hand tightened on her neck and pulled her just a bit forward, to close the distance between them. He couldn't be more grateful, he could feel Hinata's permission, he was allowed Sakura. "Sakura-chan…"

She then stopped as if something prevented her. "I can't…"

His eyes opened, not fully understanding the situation. His hand were still lingering on her neck, brushing his thumb over the surprisingly soft skin as he tried to search her eyes. "why….?"

Sakura looked inhumanly embarrassed, and her hands had gone from his shoulder and leg to her own lap. He continued to stroke her skin, trying to get her just a bit closer. "you're getting married Naruto…it would be improper if I kissed you now, I would hurt myself."

He brought his other hand to her cheek, not fully understanding what he was doing himself. "no…Sakura-chan…this won't hurt…" he gulped. "let me have this…please, I beg you…give it to me…I need it."

She brought a hand to his and tenderly removed it. "no…I can't give it to you."

"stay."

Sakura turned her gaze towards him, but when their eyes locked, there was no romantic feeling. He didn't have the haunting butterflies in his stomach or horrible urge to just lay her down in the melting snow. "stay …don't go."

"I have to go home." She muttered.

"stay in the mansion, I promise nothing will happen between us, nothing will be destroyed – just don't…leave"

She looked doubtful as he spoke.

"if not for me, then for the kids. You have to be stupid to not see they adore you Sakura-chan."

"it's just Sakura, Hokage-sama" with those word she stood up and walked towards her room in the mansion, apparently having changed her mind.

As Naruto sat there he realised something.

…but he wasn't sure what

-

The temple itself was dark and the candles barely lit up his path to the altar. His hands were pocket as his blue eyes looked at the many symbols covering the wooden desk. He wasn't a particular religious person, but Hinata was. She usually dragged him to their weekly prayer in the private Hyuuga temple, but now Naruto preferred to sit in the hokage temple. He wasn't fond of going to the Hyuuga mansion any longer.

He took a picture of Hinata and placed it on the stand, and sat down on his knees, muttering low prayers. His mind flashed with images of them. He saw the first time she managed the courage to ask him out on a date. He saw their growing fondness for the other. He saw Sakura leave Konoha, with a smile on her face. He saw Hinata and his first kiss. He saw their first time together. Their wedding. The birth of Minori. Sasuke. Hiashi. He saw her smiling as she lay beside him. He saw the limp body…the dried blood. The coffin. The grave.

He saw Sakura looking at him with sympathy.

He saw himself lying limp in his bed as the sound of papers being rummaged in his office.

He saw Hinata hugging him sweetly, kindly.

He saw Minori open her eyes, take her first step – and Hinata smiling proudly.

He saw Hinata fight Neji gracefully in the garden and he stepped up beside the two of them, challenging them both to a fight.

He saw the blood and Hinata's limp body.

He saw her.

He saw her.

He saw the deserted office, the darkness playing with the room's hollowness. It felt empty, so empty.

He saw Sakura sit down on his bed, her arms opening in a warm embrace, his face hidden inside the crook of her neck.

He saw Minori cry.

He saw Sasuke stare at him confused.

He saw Hiashi jr. giggle childishly, in the arms of his mother.

He saw her being replaced with Sakura.

It wasn't right.

He saw the piece of paper with Skye's name.

It wasn't right.

He loved Hinata.

He wanted her back.

Naruto opened his eyes again and focused them on the wooden altar in front of him. His eyes only staring at the smiling Hinata on the picture, surrounded with all of their kids, Minori pulling Sasuke's hair and Hiashi in her arms. What a stunningly beautiful woman, how come he had deserved her? He closed his palm around the small photo and placed it back into his pocket, before he stood up. He bowed in front of the altar. "I pray for forgiveness, for kindness towards my family, and for Hinata being safe and happy where ever she may be"

He was silent for a while, his mind going back to the events that had occurred about a month ago. Sakura's mouth so close to his and his heart beating so fast, like he was giving in to a sinful fantasy. The sight of her bleeding knuckles…

"And I pray for Sakura's health and her happiness…may she find it somewhere"

-

The bedroom was as empty as it always was. The red fiery walls seemed like a burning sea in the morning sun that escaped the curtains, hiding the outside world from Naruto. His eyes were cracked slightly open and his blue eyes watched the sun's shine swim across the walls. It gave him a nice cuddly feeling within his body and unconsciously his lip turned into a looped smile. For the first time in many months he had found himself waking up with pleasure and content in himself.

That was until his door jumped open with a bang and the cloud princess shrieked loudly. "Hokage-samaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Do you want to go on a picnic with me?!" Naruto jumped up in his bed in pure surprise and took the _grass_ _cutter_ and pointed it towards the princess with wide eyes. It silenced her.

They remained in that posture for a while, before Naruto lowered the sword and gave a tired sigh. "next time don't barge in on me like that" the princess was about to talk when Sakura pushed her way inside the bedroom, taking the princess by the shoulders and pressed her out the room. Loud voices where heard, especially Sakura's scolding voice brought a smile to his face. He guessed that something really never did change. Footsteps approached his room and the sour pink haired woman, entered and closed the door with a loud bang, muttering stuff to herself.

Naruto sat there bare-chested and scratched his cheek, admirering her form walking around in his room, cleaning up the mess and told her while yawning. "you really don't have to do this much effort, I am sure the servants won't mind touching my dirty laundry or open my curtains – and you shouldn't act like a nanny towards my fian-"

"Oh Naruto, shut up, I am doing this until Skye can take over – and something tells me you didn't want her in your room here in the morning."

"And I want you here?"

"Touché"

Naruto stood up from the bed and went over to Sakura's side and bent down to pick up a pair of pants and took the laundry out of her arms, and grinned at her. "I don't know what is going on in your head Sakura, but it is rude kicking my future wife out like that" to his surprise Sakura pinched his cheeks hard. "oh Naruto, sometimes I wonder if you even know what's good for you"

It was not even 7 am in the morning, they were both tired and it was really not the right atmosphere, but Naruto had an irresistible urge to grab her and crush his lips upon hers. He would hold her arms tightly and push her up against the wall, ravaging her mouth and…

"Naruto? Are you even awake yet? I was trying to tell you something."

He shook his head and immediately the feeling of regret and slight disgust entered his body. How could he do this to Hinata? He shouldn't think of his friend like this. He should treasure the memory of his wife – he loved her so ever still.

"Listen, since I am going to another appointment with Tsunade, I have asked lee to take care of the kids today." He noticed that she read aloud from a piece of paper in her hands. "Get ready for a meeting at 10 am with the Hyuugas – at 1 pm you have an appointment with your fiancé, you're joining her for dinner in the east dining hall. 3 pm you have a training session with Minori and Hiashi. 6 pm dinner with us, but you already know that. 8 pm there's a meeting with Shikamaru and 10 pm I expect to see you in the office doing paperwork" Naruto placed a hand on her head, grinning, it was good to be taller than Sakura – it was good to tease her with it. "When did you become my secretary?"

"I've always been – but I would say I'm more like your mother. Now, get dressed and get going"

He wanted to kiss her.

She patted his cheek and went out the door. The voice of Skye hissing at the pink haired woman made Naruto smile.

_-_

Minori glared at Skye as she tried out the wedding dress with a smirk. The woman's curly brown hair crawled down her young back, which the wedding dress didn't bother to cover. The little girl looked at her own white dress with discomfort and tried to get her father's attention, but he merely focussed on the papers in his hands. Was her father even interested in watching his new fiancé?

Minori tried to get contact with her father, but he merely brushed her off. Skye turned, smiling brightly. "Minori-chan! Don't you just like your dress!? It is cloud fabric, extra light and more silky than those of Konoha. Aren't you happy, aren't you happy?"

The smaller child's gaze quickly turned to that of her fathers, who merely continued to read what was in his lap. Skye asked him shortly about his opinion to which he merely replied that she looked stunningly beautiful. Why couldn't her father see that this was wrong?

Skye twirled around while squeaking loudly. "where were you today Naruto-san? I thought we were supposed to have eaten lunch together. "

"I was busy"

"but you promised you would eat lunch with me!"

"I was _busy_"

The brownhaired girl crossed her arms offended. "yeah, busy with that Sakura girl. We're getting married Naruto-san! We should act like we're"

"we _are_ getting married" he said in an annoyed voice, making Minori smile happily. Maybe her father was as tired of Skye as she herself was. "and I am the Hokage, it means I am automatically busy, no matter what time of day it is" Skye humphed and placed her hands on her hips, while hissing. "can't you at least find time to actually look at me and tell me how I look?"

His blue eyes looked up from the papers, and he watched her. His frown was replaced with something that reminded Skye of a sad expression, but it wasn't quite like it. Naruto then shook his head, going. "it's fine. You look fine"

The room grew almost uncomfortably quiet, and Skye's unhappy face showed not anger nor dislike towards how Naruto had acted. It was logical.

In that moment, she realised.

Her spot was already taken – by a dead woman.

And she feared, that what little space that was left in his heart was already taken as well.

She felt…rejected.

Minori saw this and didn't know how to feel about this situation.

-

Naruto had been surprised when Sakura had asked him to accompany her to her next medical appointment the following week. It had made him both worried and ecstatic, since it gave him an opportunity ti finally get a full report on her status. One thing had let to another and he had then found himself walking with her through half of the town, chatting and laughing. It had been a nice change of scene for him – and Naruto had almost cried when he had found himself sitting in his familiar seat in the Ichiraku, taking a long tasty sip of the wonderful miso ramen soup. He knew it was a long time since he and Sakura had gone out together, just the two of them, and she kindly told him that it had been at least 6 years ago.

She was beautiful that night.

To his lesser dislike, Sakura had taken on Tsunade's habit of drinking quite often, even though she claimed it had been a while ago. So as they sat in a nearby bar, laughing about nothing in particular and slurped far too much sake than they should have that he placed his hand on her thigh. God, it felt wonderful.

What they were doing was fairly innocent for the two of them. For ages Naruto and Sakura had always been flirting to the max when they had been slightly drunk. Kisses had been exchanged quite often and sometimes they touched each other more than it was appropriate. However, it was all for the fun of it.

It didn't feel the same way that night.

On the way back, Naruto's arm was around her shoulders, as she was struggling to breathe, because she laughed so hard. Naruto's face was full smiles, and he bent his head down to watch her more clearly to make sure she was not dying. Tears streamed down her face from the laughter and his hand tightened around her shoulder. Before Sakura knew of it, she was in a tight hug, where Naruto kissed her cheek over and over again, and moved his way down to the wonderful crock of her neck.

The sound that escaped her mouth sent him to heaven.

He didn't care for how long they stood there, in the small alley in the darkness, him holding her, and her sighing and moaning, while pulling at his shirt. It was pure bliss.

Hinata was gone. His beloved wife had left him, and he would not know how he would ever get over it and live a normal life like before. However, here he stood and for that short while that she clung to him, he felt like he was 16 again. It was all before Hinata – and this was here were Sakura was what mattered the most to him. She was his love, his passion, his inspiration – the girl who he had made a promise of a lifetime to.

Just like that he needed to pull away, he needed to look her into the eye. What he saw was green eyes, longing…lusting for his attention.

No innocence.

She wasn't Hinata.

And it killed him.

"hey – let's go back" he muttered.

She kissed him.

God.

Stop.

She was kissing him.

A hand around his neck and one moving towards his pants, her lips claiming his for her own.

If it had been any other day, under so other circumstances and if he had not been meant to marry so soon, he would've taken her right then and there, but it wasn't right.

He owed many people too much to just throw it all away in a fit of drunk passion.

"Sakura" he mumbled against her tempting lips. "I'm getting married, I'm engaged…we need to go back"

She didn't seem to care.

Naruto was angry and took her by her shoulders. "we can't do this! Don't tempt me!" she blinked surprised and looked up at him. The flush from the alcohol still tainting her cheeks and just as he was about to lead her out of the alley she nodded. "yeah, sorry, I understand." She brushed some dust of his shirt. "let's go back…" her voice was full of rejection, but he knew he couldn't do anything about it.

"…I kindda feel unwell anyway" she was sick…and he realised it.

-

One year since last update…I wonder if the next update will take that long againXD


End file.
